Holidaze ’10

11.24.10 – I know…I am on it much earlier than i normally am…it isn’t 4AM…i am not the least bit stoned…okay I am, which is why I am thinking about these things…I am not bitching (yet) about the color and texture theme of the Thanksgiving dinner…I am not there yet so haven’t been privy to the horrors that are about to occur…but it is an annual tradition that I make the pilgrimage to SD (that is South Dakota for those of you who are civilized not San Diego-shocking I know)…annually I bitch about the abysmal food options…last year I did all that I could to minimize the food issue but was then saddled with stabbings, iron deficiencies, alleged flu, low platelet count and then last but definitely not the least kidney infections/stones…not my own, but yet I ended up in the hospital all the same…Ma Wilson…sigh…sheesh…she’s a fuckin tough bird…and her timing is impeccable. So for the holidaze I am sojourning to the homeland…to the land of the Coyote…the home of the Tanager…with HoneyBunny and his young, brilliant and ambitiously fashionable daughter…you are thinking why would you subject them to this-this-this-backwater/hell-hole/staff infection waiting to happen/hillbilly hideaway? Because we all need to know where we came from! I need affirmation! Every Goddamned year! I need to have the vile and debilitating fantasy of small town living eradicated from my psyche each and every year…like cockcroaches…you might think that you don’t need to spray for them…BUT YOU DO…I learned about roaches in Florida and I try to apply that knowledge to every day life situations…like this one…

11.28.10 This was written on the way out of town and wasn’t posted till now…I was so optimistic…and quite honestly, the optimism wasn’t unfounded…this year everything went just hunky-dorey…no one ended up in the hospital, there were no staff infections…no huge drama…there was a bit but that is to be expected when you get any group of people together and force them to act with manners and respect without the prospect of a raise/blowjob/half off their purchase…I know that I didn’t know what to do with myself that is for sure!but i did make a promise to myself…that I would NOT bitch about the food until I got home…and generally there wasn’t much to bitch about…I mean really, how can you fuck up the turkey din din? Really?

Veronica (or VLo as we like to call her – I keep saying that it should be V-Yo because her last name is YOUNG but it isn’t flying) was a big giant STAR!!! Oh Yeah! I get grandkid points without having to birth her myself! WOOOOO HOOOOOO! Grand Daddy Wilson was on it in full freakidom, Ma held it together (except for the part where she was gonna show VLo her eye ball – or lack of one as the case may be), Gwyn and Jay had just the right amount of inet to keep her attention when we got to be too boring…do you have any idea how much crap the modern kid travels with…and all their damn chargers for the phone/gameboy/dsi/iPod-Pad-Touch and god forbid that you forget one…the world might end…if they are bored…they might have to interact with other human beings…but VLo was gracious, well mannered, obedient (I know!), and last but not least- damned cute!!! And we all know that that goes a long way, doesn’t it ladies?