Damn That Man!!!


President Obama
OK…I just was speaking of how much I need to satisfy my HoneyBunny and who calls? The Ex! Oh that is just perfect isn’t it? Awesome! But it isn’t a personal call, not really, he just wants me to do some fundraising and some rallying of the troops…you know get the kids excited for politics and all that crap…hard to do after they have been shown that the majority of the damn country is INSANE and would vote for Mr. Potato Head if he said that he would give them a tax break…now I know, I am a roll model, the kids look up to The Fox. I have to set an example for all of the children of color out there who haven’t had the chance to make something of themselves! Do you know HOW sick I am of hearing that! You have NO idea. I mean, who does Barack Obama think he is? huh? I mean the nerve! Calling The Fox before 10am. Doesn’t that seem a bit on the barbaric side…I mean he should KNOW better. Now I accept that things did not end between us as they should have, and as an ex who is president, I know that I should actually take his calls, but before 10am? He knows that The Fox is either gettin’ some or is sleepin’ some. It’s not like The Fox has a day job ya know! Unacceptable!
You are wondering why the first Black/AfricanAmerican/Muslim PresidentĀ  is calling The Fox before 10am. And you are thinking that Mr. Obama got himself a wife that he seems more than happy with. There has been no mention of The Fox, and that is the way it is gonna stay. But there was a time before Michelle. Before he cut his afro. When he still wore Kinte cloth. You know, back in the day, we made all kinds of sense. We had soooo much in common! He is half whitie, and so is The Fox. He is a rags to riches phenom, so is The Fox. He gives great head, so does The Fox. He just couldn’t handle a woman of my stature and stardom. He always had to be the one in the limelight. And let me tell you that The Fox don’t share the limelight all that well, just ask the Whammies! So I just had to call it quits! It was too hard watching Barack knock his head up against a wall trying to out shine my star, it absolutely broke my heart! He tried novels, ballet, r&b, culinary arts, acting, even spoken word, but to put it honestly he sucked at it all. But ya know, all failed actors end up in politics eventually and Barak seems to be doing well in that arena. We shall see..

But evidently, Mr. Obama wasn’t happy with The Fox’s fundraising efforts or my efforts at trying to inspire all the little kiddies with my tale of rags to riches. Well fuck people, let me tell you, that A. Fundraising don’t pay that well and B. Inspiring kiddies is another phrase that means you be workin’ for free. “It’s for the children!” Fuck the children! I have spent my entire life avoiding children, why the hell should I feel the need to inspire them. Why can’t they get their own inspiration, huh? I had to get mine. No one came to Vermillion SD to inspire all four of us children of color! Our town was so white we didn’t even get D.A.R.E. until it was obviously too late. You know I was so po’ that I didn’t even have bootstraps to pull myself up by, ya know what I mean? Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! Does The Fox have to do everything? So, here I am, in Preston Minnesota for fuck’s sake, inspiring the kiddies. My phone don’t work here. I have to drive myself 15 miles into the country to get any sort of reception. I am not kidding. But at least lovely downtown Preston has a coffee shop. It is only open from 10-2. Yep. Haven’t had a decent cup of joe in 3 days. 10-2! And they wonder why they can’t make enough money to pay the rent. Maybe if you worked some hours that people might want coffee you might make some more money for FUCK’s sake.
I also haven’t heard NPR for 3 days either, and no they don’t have cable at the hotel. At least as far as I can tell. But there is a pool that the night clerk seems to be renting out for sex parties after the official pool hours for guests has ended. Now THAT is what I call ingenuity, THAT is gumption, obviously this lady has been inspired by The Fox! She is making her own way in the world. She is pulling her self up by her G-STRING and is gonna take southern Minnesota by storm…you work it Ms. Thang. The Fox is proud of ya!